Your Home is Your Mission

Bulletin 2006-06

Bringing up teenagers is tough.

In Biblical times the age of puberty was much later in teenage years and the average age of marriage was near puberty. In those days following young marriage husbands and wives had to work hard to make a living in a subsistence existence without TV, drugs, the internet, pornography, pubs, bars and clubs.

Today the age of puberty has plummeted to the bottom of the teen years and the average age of marriage is around thirty. In this huge gap modern society has created a testosterone charged single society with a marketing world vying for their dollars through sex and alcohol. Wow, Christian parents of teenagers have an incredible challenge to navigate these tough years for their kids.

As our children reach the age of independence they start exploring values different to our own. They are hugely influenced by their peer groups and family relational stress is often high. Parental relinquishment of control in these circumstances is hard, very hard.

But as parents there is a time when we have to move on from law (what we say goes) to grace (extending unmerited goodwill). This is an incredibly tough journey for parents... But if you are reading this article as a Christian parent you know that God's grace has already worked for you - so there are great grounds to have high hope for your kids!

For Christian dads God has given you the most important responsibility you will ever hold in your life: that of being spiritual head of your household. This means you are answerable to God for your family because he has vested direct responsibility for your family in you. Being spiritual head of your household means you cannot delegate this responsibility to your wife. Yes we are partners in marriage, but mothers and fathers have different roles in that partnership. And like the Captain of an aircraft crew the final responsibility before God rests with you as the father.

No matter what our culture tells us, this is the case with regard to our family responsibility before God:

For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Saviour (Eph 5:23).

 

Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her (Eph 5:25).

Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord (Eph 6:4).

Now in giving you this responsibility, God has also given you promises in writing for your children:

Isaiah 44:3
For I will pour water on the thirsty land, and streams on the dry ground; I will pour out my Spirit on your offspring, and my blessing on your descendants.

 

Isaiah 59:21
As for me, this is my covenant with them," says the LORD. "My Spirit, who is on you, and my words that I have put in your mouth will not depart from your mouth, or from the mouths of your children, or from the mouths of their descendants from this time on and forever," says the LORD.

 

Isaiah 54:13
All your sons will be taught by the LORD, and great will be your children's peace.

 

Psalm 102:28
The children of your servants will live in your presence; their descendants will be established before you.

Mal 4:6, the last word of the Old Testament:
"See, I will send you the prophet Elijah before that great and dreadful day of the LORD comes. He will turn the hearts of the fathers to their children, and the hearts of the children to their fathers; or else I will come and strike the land with a curse."

God is deadly serious about this.

Now we have to lay claim to these promises because the promises of God only come true for those who believe them. As you believe this you will transition from an anxiety driven dad to a warrior for the kingdom of God in your household.

As you get this right in your household you will also get this right in your marketplace.

All of life is a battleground between order and disorder. As a warrior of God you are the person to release the divine order of the Kingdom of God into the disorder of the fallen world in your sphere of influence.

As this disorder encroaches on your family through the independence of teenage children... you as a dad have no option than to learn how to become a warrior of the Kingdom for your family. This is why God has made you spiritual head of your household.

And what are the weapons of our warfare?

For though we live in the world, we do not wage war as the world does. The weapons we fight with are not the weapons of the world. On the contrary, they have divine power to demolish strongholds (2 Cor 10:3-4).

God has given us the most powerful weapons in the universe. But like Luke Skywalker in Star Wars, these weapons are latent until we learn to master them. The following weapons are awaiting your mastery:

And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love (1 Cor 13:13).

To these three I want to add one more: prayer. The man of God who is spiritual head of his household will not win the battle of order over disorder by domination, legalism or force. He can only win this battle by Grace. In this God would say to you... 'welcome to my world'.

And the warrior of the Kingdom will exercise this grace to skilfully hone the most powerful forces in the universe on behalf of his family: faith, hope, love and prayer. Using these weapons you will win your battle.

Your child is not the enemy. The enemy is the disorderly system waring for your child (Eph 6:12). Therefore defend your child with the weapons of God:

• believe the promises of God for your children (faith).

• have a vision of them in the loving arms of God (hope).

• extend to them unmerited goodwill (love).

• pray for them in the spirit.

If they are temporarily recalcitrant go into their bedroom when they are asleep and pray over them. If you pray in tongues, use this gift over them in their sleep because in this way you can pray in the Spirit without having to know how to pray (Romans 8:26). If you don't pray in tongues do it in your normal tongue. But don't pray in despair over the circumstances - pray with trust in the promises of God.

This battle can take years but you are called to victory. Take the time. Learn to exercise the weapons of your warfare God has given you (Eph 6).

And finally...

Humble yourselves, therefore, under God's mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time. Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you (1 Peter 5:6-7).

Humble yourself in relationship with your wife and close buddies. Admit your weaknesses and needs. Let the tears flow. Cry out to God and release to him your anxieties so that you are not physically afflicted by stress.

Don't condemn yourself. God doesn't condemn you (Rom 8:1). He was the perfect dad and yet his son Adam went wayward. God understands your situation. He is with you in this battle. He has already mapped out the way to handle the circumstances. Follow him.

Personally speaking, as a dad of three kids in their thirties, I promise you the ways of God will work for you and your family.

And if you are a single mum, you have to take on board this process because the spiritual default has fallen to you. I grew up as a child of divorced parents and I know these ways of God will work for you also, but it's much tougher for single parents. That's why the church need to especially get behind single mums.

Let us finish this discourse of encouragement with a final word from the scriptures:

No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord (Rom 8:37-39).

Believe it for yourself and believe it for your kids. These promises and equipping are from God the father.

Blessings to you,

Peter

Peter Kentley
Australian Marketplace Connections